When I hit 24, like any typical malayali parents, mine too started panicking. “It’s time to marry off our daughter,” they agreed maybe for the sixth time in their 27 
years of marriage. So began the search—I was registered into all the matrimonial sites they ever heard of and marriage bureaus, brokers and relatives were alerted too.
I shuddered. Protesting was a bad idea since that would only panic them more and make them do something stupid. Hence I feigned interest and kept my participation to the minimum. Anyways there wasn’t much I could do with my work schedule and all. So it was left to my pregnant sister to browse online day and night till she developed muscle cramps, for a groom. As for me, I was compelled to do the same on my off days. Those once cherished off days became the dreaded ones.
However, my brief stint at groom hunting for the past four months put me in that awkward position of ‘aanukaanal’ ceremony thrice. All the three were huge disappointments in their own sweet way. Excerpts from the your-best-shot-at-getting-to-know-each-other-in-15-minutes-conversation I had will tell you why.
Guy#1. Roshan
Me:…umm..so what do you do on your weekends when you are free and all..?
Roshan: Nothing.
…
Me: Like your job?
Roshan: It’s okay. But I am trying to clear my civil service examinations. IAS you know,
Me: Nice, but why?
Roshan: For status,obviously.
Me: K. What a jerk (thinking).
Guy#2.Prashanth
Me:Do you have anything to ask me?
Prashanth: *shakes head vigorously*
Me: So don’t you want to have the slightest idea about the girl ?
Prashanth: *sheepish smile*
Me: *gives up* watch movies?
Prashanth: Mohanlal and Mamootty only.
…
Me:Even if I get married I will still need my freedom and you can’t put unreasonable restrictions on me.
Prashanth: *jumps up from the chair* I am from a middle class background.
Me: ????
To this day, I find the response baffling.
Guy #3. Pankaj
Oh well the conversation went smooth. It was the events that ensued that were weird. The family lets my family know their son is not interested the next day. A week later, they let us know their dear old son has changed his mind and is interested. I didn’t care. Wasn’t interested in indecisive chaps.
Written By
Asmi
