The Ten Commandments of RRR

Continued from Part 1

The Ten Commandments of RRR

Well, my friends, we have come a long way from the Vedas. I don’t have the patience to read references to wine in Ayurveda which also reeks with alcohol (perhaps we can do that on another occasion).

RRR is happy.

And is back on its course. It finds that it is not far from the tradition when it waxes on drinks. But like all good scriptures, RRR also has a moral stand on wine. It has its own commandments for its readers.
1)    Don’t drink if you haven’t yet started. Life is even otherwise interesting.

2)    If you drink, don’t take it more than once a week.

3)    A doctor may say it is safe to drink a peg a day. It is true. But there is huge chance that a man starts to play dirty tricks with concessions. I asked my doctor-friend only last week whether ‘one’ can save all those daily pegs in order to have a weekend binge. He replied: “That ‘one’ will die.” I called the bearer to bring the bill. Later he reasoned that ‘one’ should not put too much weight on the liver at a time. Just think. You won’t get any kick if you take that quota of one peg a day, but only a bad publicity. Why take risks? Back to rule number 2 – don’t take it more than once a week.

4)    Never take more than two pegs at the end of the week. Sip slowly. That’s always the style.

5)    For every peg, take two glasses of water. Water gives liver a longer life with all that alcohol flushing down the hole.

6)    Appreciate the ritual of drinking. Think about the ingredients and craftsmanship that went to the liquid artifact in your hand. Nurse your drink, don’t smother it. Let the length of a peg be one hour.

7)    Never believe drinks improve creative work. You sleep like a hog.

8)    Never believe drinks improve sex. You sleep like a hog.

9)    There is only a fixed quota of pegs reserved for a man. You can empty your reserve at the age of 30 if you drink fast. You can goof around and continue to appreciate the beauty of the woman in the neighborhood until you get to 100 years if you go easy on the stuff. It all depends on your drinking rate. RRR wants to see its reader sit by a fireside along with his 90- year old wife with a glass of golden liquid in hand.

10) Don’t drink if you haven’t yet started. Life is even otherwise interesting.

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About Manu Remakant

Manu has written 298 stories in Rum, Road & Ravings. You can read all posts by here.

2 Responses to The Ten Commandments of RRR

  1. Ineteresting and informative, cheers for the next peg (5th)!

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  2. Hell, I could have diagnosed it for you from here and saved all this humiliation. 😛

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